I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
