No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
