That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
