Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
