There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
