I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
