I want to make a zoo with you.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
