i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
