i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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