Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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