So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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