Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
