I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
