I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
one might say we're banned from that church
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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