your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
