I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
