u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
