Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
