Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
