Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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