Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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