Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
