Cold hands, warm shart.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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