I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
