the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
