i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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