just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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