what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I am naked and annoyed.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
