Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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