I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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