There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
