I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We had sex on a dog bed..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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