You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
