We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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