I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
PANTIES FOUND
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