The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
