I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
