Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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