What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
