'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
