You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
barbara walters just said penis...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize