You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize