i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
This is the high leading the old right now
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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