how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
