How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
