Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize