it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
