Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
