roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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