I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
