Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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