dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i dont even know how to be here
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
