Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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