Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
