how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Drunk is not a location!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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