life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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