i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
