i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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